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The Value of Self Esteem
I could never understand why anyone would commit to a toxic relationship. Yet, after a brief study of the word, ‘environment’, I gained clarity. If dissected etymologically, ‘environ’ means to surround, and ‘ment’ means mind. Therefore, a person’s environment is a microcosm of their most frequent thoughts and ideas. It is easy to commit to outward abuse if the voice from within is a tyrant. And, It is easy to endure outward negativity if the voice from within is berating. In fact, it is more than just easy, it becomes standard. Because, no human can treat another better than they can treat themselves.
See, all of this falls under the umbrella of self-esteem. I stated in a previous lesson on solipsism: “Relationships do not end because one person was right while the other was wrong. Relationships end due to a conflict of values.” I stand by this notion. However, I would like to add that self-esteem lies at the root of such values, as It is the measure by which a person values themselves. It would behoove a man to misunderstand the value of self-esteem. Because, from family to both intimate and platonic relationships, inequality of self-esteem is a facet of being unequally yoked 2 Corinthians 6:14. Therefore, just as believers cannot fellowship with unbelievers–contrasting self-esteems cannot fellowship as well.
Now, I do not argue in support of high self-esteem. A man should never esteem himself higher than what he ought to. So, imagine it as such: Two people enter into a room, but one of them is sick. In due time, two sick people will emerge from that room, because health isn’t contagious. People of low self-esteem are unhealthy because they have an unhealthy relationship with themselves. Have you ever had fellowship with someone who – as soon as things got peaceful – would start an altercation? Or, someone who is close to you but silently competes with you. These are signs that they are of low self-esteem, and projecting their state of mind onto their environment. They disrupt when you are at peace because their inner-voice gives them no rest. They diminish your success because their inner voice diminishes theirs.
So, once a person of low self-esteem is identified, how does one maneuver? Well, understand that sick people require isolation or quarantine. But, given that this is a sickness of the mind, the quarantine must be mental as well. Do this by no longer cultivating or watering the relationship. It will soon wilt and die, but before this happens, re-purpose the individual as a measuring tool. See, throughout this journey, we often become misaligned, and attracting or accepting a person of low self-esteem is indicative of this. So, divorce yourself from the way you may feel about what they have done or said, and then use this to balance your life. Because, no one can reveal a flaw more thoroughly than a person who has grown to hate you.